Rhythms of Resilience: How I Stay Spiritually, Emotionally, and Physically Healthy as a Head of School
The demands of leading a school can be relentless. Working nine to twelve hours on weekdays and more on weekends, holidays, and vacations is physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually exhausting. More draining still is the weariness arising from the complaints and conflict that inexorably come with leadership. If you have led long enough, you know the feeling. You arrive at work drained before you even begin.
Stress and weariness are unavoidable. But they do not have to be overwhelming. There are practices, cultivated over many years, that have helped me reduce stress and remain resilient. I share them with the prayer and hope that a few will strengthen your resilience and provide rest for your heart and mind.
Feed Your Soul
I cannot give what I do not possess, and I cannot bear fruit unless I am abiding in Christ. This conviction shapes the first hours of every workday. I schedule devotions and a time for praying through my prayer list each morning. Studying God’s word and praying nourishes my soul and gives me something to offer others. Without spiritual nourishment, our souls wither. Withered souls are tired and shallow, incapable of producing spiritual fruit.
Prayer should not be restricted to one point during the day. The day is full of moments that call for prayer: a difficult email, a request from a colleague, a meeting about to begin, a decision that cannot wait, someone’s prayer request. I have found that cultivating a habit of continuous, silent, short prayers throughout these moments steadies my mind and redirects my attention to the One who is sovereign over all. Paul’s instruction to pray without ceasing (First Thessalonians 5:17) is a spiritual rhythm that I have grown to incorporate into the daily routine of my life and work.
Guard Your Mind
Peace does not arise spontaneously. It is the result of a believing, disciplined, contented mind. We live in a world immersed in a sea of information, much of it negative and about things over which we have little or no influence or control. The remedy is to focus on those things over which we do have influence. What we choose to focus on has a dramatic effect on our mental and spiritual state, which is one reason Paul exhorts us: “Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you” (Philippians 4:8–9).
I have chosen not to participate in social media, and I severely limit the time I spend watching the news. I turn my phone off at night and keep it on do-not-disturb when I am with others. I do not look at it until I am up, showered, dressed, have had my devotions, exercised, and eaten breakfast. I have turned off most notifications and check email only at predetermined times. The phone is a terrible taskmaster. It keeps us in a state of continuous partial attention, a perpetual distraction destructive to peace of mind, relationships, deep thinking, and productivity.
Cultivate Gratitude and Contentment
Practicing gratitude and contentment is essential for spiritual and mental well-being. Instead of rehearsing all the things going wrong, I strive to focus on what is going well. Rather than dwelling on what I do not have or what I wish were different, I practice being content with God’s providence in my life and leadership. Neither is easy. Scripture calls us to give thanks in all circumstances, even trials (James 1:2–4; Romans 5:3–5). Gratitude and contentment do not arise naturally in the human heart. Both are learned virtues that require practice and must be cultivated as spiritual disciplines (Philippians 4:11–13). Spiritual disciplines shape the heart just as physical discipline shapes the body.
One practical way to cultivate both is to keep a journal. Writing forces reflection in a way that mental review alone does not. Recording at least one thing you are thankful for at the end of a day, no matter how difficult the day was, is good for the soul and fosters a settled mind.
Nurture Thick Skin and a Tender Heart
Leaders will always face criticism. If I expect it, it is easier to handle. I have learned to develop thick skin while, by God’s grace, maintaining a tender heart. Nine times out of ten, the person sharing a concern is not attacking me, although it may feel that way. When criticized, I glean what I can, fix what I should, and move on. I do not rehearse the offense in my mind. I do not gossip about the criticism. I deal with it, learn from it, and forget it.
I also refuse to walk alone. A leader who isolates himself will eventually fall (Ecclesiastes 4:9–10). I have a former head of school I can call when something goes sideways. I have a wingman, someone of impeccable character who offers constructive criticism, wise advice, and discreet support (Proverbs 11:14). I commend the same to you.
Exercise Your Body
Staying fit is critical to reducing stress and leading effectively. I jog several miles most days of the week. I do not like to exercise, but there is a symbiotic relationship between the body, the soul, and the mind. First Timothy 4:8 addresses physical exercise explicitly: “For while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come.” Paul does not dismiss bodily training; he affirms its value while placing it within a larger framework. Interestingly, John opens his third epistle this way: “Beloved, I pray that all may go well with you and that you may be in good health, as it goes well with your soul” (Third John 1:2).
What is good for one is good for the other. What is bad for one is bad for the other. Physical exercise improves our stamina for the work we have been called to do and strengthens our mind and soul.
Create White Space
White space is a vital element across creative disciplines: writing, art, design, music, photography, and more. White space breathes. It gives our minds and souls the room to rest, refocus, and ponder what matters most. Below is a snapshot of how I structure my calendar. My executive assistant blocks time each morning for devotions, exercise, and deep work: those projects deserving my best attention. She has been instructed that I am not to be interrupted during these blocks unless something is unavoidable or requires my immediate response.
At the end of each day, I take fifteen to thirty minutes to process the day and identify my top priorities for the following morning. Each Friday, I conduct a weekly review: my calendar, any needed follow-up from the past week, and upcoming projects and speaking engagements. I capture everything in a task and project management application. This practice prepares me for the week ahead and clears my mind. What needs to be done does not preoccupy me over the weekend; my system captures it so my mind does not have to. For more ideas about creating white space, see this article.
Shepherd Your Staff
The practices above are not merely personal. They prepare me to care well for those entrusted to me. Just as I must be deliberate in nurturing my soul, mind, and body, I must be deliberate in shepherding those God has placed under my leadership and influence.
We hold monthly devotionals for all school staff: lunch room help, grounds crew, bus drivers, teachers, administrators. We are all part of the same team and the same ministry. I also send an email asking for prayer requests and praises, with a link to a digital prayer request form. Our senior leadership team meetings begin with a devotional, and then we pray through these requests. After the meeting, we fill out a Barnabas Encouragement card to give to those for whom we prayed.
This practice has shaped me as much as my staff. Because the prayer requests can be anonymous, staff share struggles and trials they would never share in person. Reading them has made me far more understanding and empathetic, and careful to avoid placing undue burdens upon those already carrying heavy loads.
A Final Word
Leadership is hard, but God has called you to it and gifted you for it. Develop habits and rhythms of soul, mind, and body that nurture, strengthen, and calm you. When you do, you will be a more resilient and effective leader, and a blessing to those you serve. Take heart in the words of Jesus: “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world” (John 16:33).
Dr. Barrett Mosbacker is Head of School at Westminster Christian Academy in St. Louis, Missouri, where he has served since 2017. He brings over thirty-five years of Christian school leadership and writes on faith, leadership, and best practices at The Christian School Journal. He holds an Ed.D. from the University of North Carolina at Charlotte.